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Old 11-15-2008, 05:40   #16
Bornas
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CHUCK NORISS can clap with one hand
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Old 11-15-2008, 12:25   #17
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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Old 11-15-2008, 12:32   #18
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In Spain, people may be running from the bulls. But the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
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Old 11-15-2008, 13:47   #19
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris once order a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

if you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
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Old 11-15-2008, 18:43   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BS_Detector View Post
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris once order a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

if you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
I lol'd
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Old 11-15-2008, 19:08   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BS_Detector View Post
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris once order a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

if you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

HA!
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Old 11-16-2008, 13:05   #22
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The first rule of Chuck Norris is, You don't talk about Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE DECIDES what time it is.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris uses a nightlight... not because he is afraid of the dark... but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up... He's pushing the earth down.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. You never slap Chuck Norris.

There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

How much wood would a woodchuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

The true definition of Pi is Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.

Chuck Norris doesn't use spellcheck. If he happens to spell a word wrong, dictionaries will change the actual spelling of the word.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

Similar to a russian nesting doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open inside you would find another Chuck Norris, only smaller and more pissed off.

Chuck Norris can hear silence.

Chuck Norris owns a large private estate in the middle of the ocean. We know it as The Burmeuda triangle. Chuck Norris does not tolerate trespassers.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
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Old 11-16-2008, 15:26   #23
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chuck norris is never on the bottom for sex, because he never ****s up
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Old 12-05-2008, 15:42   #24
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http://www.amazon.com/Truth-About-Ch...8520483&sr=8-1


just get the book man. or go to your local spencers, its like 9.98 they also have a mister t one. some stuff like when mister T. orgasims, it leaves and exit wound.
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Old 12-05-2008, 15:54   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BS_Detector View Post
if you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Actually, I got 7,430 results. :P
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Old 12-05-2008, 16:14   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magistrate View Post
Actually, I got 7,430 results. :P
i knew someone was going to post this. i even thought of it myself. haha
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Old 12-05-2008, 16:21   #27
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If Chuck Norris fought himself.....he'd win
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Old 12-05-2008, 16:26   #28
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Chuck Norris knock-knock joke:

BAM!
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Old 12-06-2008, 02:45   #29
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Who is Chuck Norris???

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Old 12-06-2008, 02:50   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Genie View Post
Who is Chuck Norris???


Oh noes... Your dead!
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