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StasIs. 02-07-2008 02:23

1488 1K posts :p

kimo 02-07-2008 10:18


Preama 02-07-2008 14:02



1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
' Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. '

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, '
Sorry, I really prefer it this way. '

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors


1) Say to your boss, ' I like your style ' and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, ' Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it. '

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ' Bob. '

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you ' really have to go do a
number two. '

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in ' The report's on your desk, Mon. ' Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, ' Shut up, all of you just shut up! '

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, ' As God as my
witness, I'll never go hungry again. '

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: ' See how I
look in tights. ' (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, ' You wanna
trade? '

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: ' Do
you hear that? ' ' What? ' ' Never mind, it's gone now. '

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, ' I can't
talk about it. '

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and
act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you... How to keep a healthy level of

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. ' Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go. '

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4) Put you r waste basket on your desk and label it ' IN ' .

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) Finish all your sentences with ' In accordance with the prophecy. '

7) Dont use any punctuation

8) Use, too...much; punctuation!

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is ' to go. '

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, ' Rock
Hard. '

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ' I Won! I Won! 3rd time
this week!!! '

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,
' Run for your lives, they're loose! '

kimo 02-07-2008 14:06

my eyes hurt :eek:


kingjr1992 02-07-2008 16:53


Hand 02-07-2008 19:20


kingjr1992 02-08-2008 06:59


Preama 02-08-2008 07:07



(If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to)

1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10 You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenges.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience?

kimo 02-08-2008 07:17

thats better :D , beside u hurt the 50+ years old ppl :< and make me wanna get the time stop :D


Delusion 02-08-2008 14:42


kimo 02-08-2008 15:08


Mrbigshot 02-08-2008 15:15

Dunno how we are on 1233...because it says there have been 1231 replies xD

So Either I'm on 1232 or 1233....**** IT


SpyBot 02-08-2008 17:55


sucker spam o_O

kimo 02-08-2008 18:01

shush noob :D


Hand 02-08-2008 18:03


SpyBot 02-08-2008 18:03


noes <3

kimo 02-08-2008 18:05

sup newb :cool:


SpyBot 02-08-2008 18:08


Originally Posted by kimo (Post 7458023)
sup newb :cool:



(I repped joo!)

kimo 02-08-2008 18:11

ye i saw it :)


SpyBot 02-08-2008 18:12


kimo 02-08-2008 18:23


SpyBot 02-08-2008 18:25


Giant 02-08-2008 18:28

+12 blade on the ground in gw

SpyBot 02-08-2008 18:30


kimo 02-08-2008 18:30


Hand 02-08-2008 18:55


kimo 02-08-2008 19:03


Hand 02-08-2008 19:15


SpyBot 02-08-2008 21:23


kimo 02-09-2008 08:43


Preama 02-09-2008 09:18


The Rabbit and the Blonde

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the
middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately
the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive
man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what
has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The
driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on
the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks
the man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," ! he explains, "I
accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blonde says," Don't
worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over
to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the
rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops
down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,
turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he
hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is
in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the
can around so that the man can read the label. It says. -----

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(This is bad!)

(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)

(You know you could just scroll to the next post and not read the punch line....)

(You still have time to skip it)

(You know you're gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says, "Hair Spray" - "Restores life to dead hair, and adds a
permanent wave."

kimo 02-09-2008 10:02

hehe , im going to collect all ur stories and comments in abook then ill sell it :p


SpyBot 02-09-2008 12:19


Originally Posted by kimo (Post 7462047)
hehe , im going to collect all ur stories and comments in abook then ill sell it :p


1518 (lol)

kimo 02-09-2008 12:30


SpyBot 02-09-2008 12:32



kimo 02-09-2008 12:36

sup nooblet


SpyBot 02-09-2008 12:39


nothing much, and u?

kimo 02-09-2008 12:42

same old


SpyBot 02-09-2008 12:42


kimo 02-09-2008 12:51


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