1085

1086

man i keep giving reps out but havent got any back yet

1156

1087

1157

1088

1089

1158

1159 =]

1160

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finklestien looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?"

They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door.

The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants?

Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg

1161 lmao xD

1162

priceless

1164
preama is my new favorite person =D

1166
Are you stalking me? =O

1090

1167 Im stalking u YY:p
Thanks for the nice words every time...brightens up my day:p Everytime i wanna rep back it says i need to rep other ppl >.<

So here an imaginary rep :P

1168

1091

1169

1170

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised
a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water? "

Answers were called out that ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.

It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.

Relax; pick them up later after you've rested.

Life is short. Enjoy it! :cool:

1092

1093

1171

1172

1173

1173

1174

1175

1094

1095

It's not the rep that matters, it's just a way to say, hey I like you! =D

1177

1178

1096

1179 ^^ well I like u YY ^^

1180

1181

1182

1183

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh!t?