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Dennis Leary - I'm an *******
If any of this bypasses the filter... just edit it, I didn't write it, just copy-pasta. :D
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream About me, about you About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests About that special feeling we get in the ****les of our hearts Maybe below the ****les, Maybe in the sub ****le area, Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, we dont know Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job Im your average white, suburbanite slob I like football and porno and books about war I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor My wife and my job, my kids and my car My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no, no way, uh uh) No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense (woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah) I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane While people behind me are going insane Im an ******* (hes an *******, what an *******) Im an ******* (hes an *******, such an *******) I use public toilets and I piss on the seat I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?" Im an ******* (hes an *******, what an *******) Im an ******* (hes the worlds biggest *******) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces While handicapped people make handicapped faces Im an ******* (hes an *******, what an *******) Im an ******* (hes a real ****ing *******) Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong Nah Im an ******* (hes an *******, what an *******) Im an ******* (hes the worlds biggest *******) You know what Im gonna do Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps And all leather cow interior And make brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah) And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour Gettin' 1 mile per gallon, Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why 2 words, nuclear ****ing weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want They can have a big democracy cakewalk Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it wont make a lick of difference Because weve got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off You know why, Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be! I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes, and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey, and drive down to Texas and say..... (Hey! You know, you really are an *******!) Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal? Im an ******* (hes an *******, what an *******) Im an ******* (hes the worlds biggest *******) A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E Im an ******* and Im proud of it |
What happened to sweet music O.o
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I have another one I like alot... but it is EXTREMELY overplayed by all of my idiot immature friends... here it is: Jizz in my Pants - Lonely Island Records Lock eyes from across the room Down my drink while the rhythms boom Take your hands, skip the names No need here for the silly games Make our way through the smoke and crowd The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud Move in close as the lasers fly Our bodies touch and the angels cry Leave this place go back to yours Our lips first touch outside your doors The whole night what we've got in store Whisper in my ear that you want some more And I jizz in my pants This really never happens you can take my word I won't apologize That's just absurd Mainly your fault for the way that you dance And now I jizz in my pants Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault You were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive Some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I need a few things from the grocery Do things alone now mostly Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love Surprise in my eyes when I looked above The checkout counter and I saw her face My heart stood still so did time and space Never thought that I could feel real again But the look in her eyes said I need a friend She turned to me that's when she said it Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit And I jizzed in my pants It's perfectly normal Nothing wrong with me But we're going to need a cleanup On aisle 3 And now I'm posed in an awkward stance Because I jizzed in my pants To be fair You were flirting a lot Plus the way you bag cans makes me Bothered and hot Please stop acting like you're not impressed One more thing I'm gonna pay by check Last week, I saw a film As I recall it was a horror film Walked outside into the rain Checked my phone and saw you rang And I jizzed in my pants Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash Need to get away, need to make a dash A song comes on that reminds me of you And I jizz in my pants The next day My alarm goes off And I jizz in my pants Open my window and a breeze rolls in And I jizz in my pants When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I jizzed in my pants I just ate a grape And I jizzed in my pants I went to. . . Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok? I jizz right in my pants Every time you're next to me And when we're holdin hands Its like havin sex with me You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times Its a necessity Cuz I jizz in my pants (I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants (x3)) Yes I jizz in my pants (I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants) |
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Yes it is =)
I am out of Music Ideas, don't make me put up some oldschool Weird Al. ;P |
Back in their not-so-serious days
Green Day - Dominated Love Slave I want to be your dominated love slave I want to be the one that takes the pain You can spank me when I do not behave Mack me in the forehead with a chain Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drive them staples deep I want you to slap me and call me naughty Put a beltsander against my skin I want to feel pain all over my body Can't wait to be punished for my sins. Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drive them staples deep Yee-hah! Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drrrriiiveeee.....Staples? |
No-Time : Eat all the Old People
The people of our nation don't see no obligation
To fix the situation of the elder generation They're stuffing up the nursing homes to overflowing Yeah, but the problem keeps growing People getting jacked for their Social Security checks I detect that they don't get no respect So what you gonna do, a dilemma for the whole crew Open up your ears; I got an answer for you (what's that) Open up your ears; I got an answer for you (what you say?) Open up your ears; I got an answer for you We gotta eat all the old people Show em that you love em We gotta eat all the old people Shove em in the oven We gotta eat all the old people Stick em in the freezer We gotta eat all the old people We're gonna garnish up a geezer We're gonna hack em, whack, de-bone and stack em Two by two on the bar-b-q rack em We're talking Steve McQueen with the Soylent Green We grinding up the grannies in the granny-grind machine The venerable edibles, the ancient incredible Burger, one bite and you know it's not regrettable The aged, the antiquated, dilapidated Gonna get processed and then marinated And now we go around, we're cleaning up the town We frying up the Golden Girls to a golden brown We gotta eat all the old people Show em that you love em We gotta eat all the old people Shove em in the oven We gotta eat all the old people Eat em skin and all We gotta eat all the old people We're gonna marinate with Geritol We're talking O-L-D, P-E-O-P-L-E It's always the first that's the worst Until they become a tasty treat We're talking E-A-T, all the O-L-D We're talking E-A-T, all the O-L-D Here we go We gotta eat all the old people (c'mon) We gotta eat all the old people (c'mon) We gotta eat all the old people (c'mon) We gotta eat all the old people (here we go) We gotta eat all the old people (c'mon) We gotta eat all the old people (c'mon) We gotta eat all the old people (uh-huh) We gotta eat all the old people (boyeeeeeee) Now I think you know exactly how I feel A sandwich is a sandwich but your grandpa is a meal |
Rofl
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I will find more obscure, sick/twisted **** to put up here =)
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Arm of Roger - The ***** song
Boy you like to give it to me every night You give it to me good until the morning light You make my ***** happy make it feel so right Whatchoo gonna do for my ***** tonight? You wanna **** my *****? -I'll **** yo *****. You wanna kick my *****? -I'll kick yo *****. You wanna sea clamp my *****? -I'll sea clamp yo *****. You wanna take a swing at my *****? -I'll take a swing at that *****. You wanna drive my *****? -I'll drive yo *****. You wanna nail my *****? -I'll nail yo *****. You wanna tai-bo my *****? -I'll tai-bo yo *****. You wanna saté my *****? -I'll saté yo *****. Boy you like to give it to me every night You give it to me good until the morning light You make my ***** happy make it feel so right Whatchoo gonna do for my ***** tonight? You wanna yell at my *****? -I'll yell at yo *****. You wanna x-ray my *****? -I'll x-ray yo *****. You wanna karatechop my *****? -I'll karatechop yo *****. You wanna dogtrain my *****? -I'll dogtrain that *****. You wanna saté my *****? -I'll saté yo *****. You wanna nail my *****? -I'll nail yo *****. You wanna put black on my *****? -I'll put black on yo *****. You wanna throw rocks at my *****? -I'll throw rocks at yo *****. Boy you like to give it to me every night You give it to me good until the morning light You make my ***** happy make it feel so right Whatchoo gonna do for my ***** tonight? Goddamn my *****. -Goddamn that *****. Who gets this *****? -I get this *****. Whatchoo gonna do? |
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Owell, if I freaked you out, back to decent lyrics then.
At the Drive-In - Star Slight http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPiHQEdglLI sailing all alone, guided by starlight nowhere is my home inside of my mind we've paid that shoeshine boy whose buff has no smile he spits on your tip-toes and you keep hugging folklore like it's out of style, out of focus harum scarum we promote this cover, discover and you know your insides true better than i do |
Msi - "shut me up"
Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up lyrics
------------------------------------------------------------- The bass, the rock The mic, the treble I like my coffee black Just like my metal The bass, the rock The mic, the treble I like my coffee black Just like my metal I can't wait for you to knock me up In a minute, minute In a ***in' minute I can't wait for you to knock me up In a minute, minute In a second I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up The bass, the rock The mic, the treble I like my coffee black Just like my metal The bass, the rock The mic, the treble I like my coffee black Just like my metal I can't wait for you to knock me up In a minute, minute In a ***ing minute I can't wait for you to knock me up In a minute, minute In a second I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up I don't find it funny right now (right now) Just want my ma-ma-ma-money right now (now) I'm on my way to the party right now (right now) I don't find it funny right now (right now) Just want my ma-ma-ma-money right now (now) I'm on my way to the party right now (right now) Because the break, the break, the break I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up I can't wait for you to shut me up And make me hip like bad ass I can't wait for you to shut me up Shut it up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF-Zs0sgqMY |
aNOTHEr
Straight To Video Lyrics
Artist(Band):Mindless Self Indulgence All aboard Hit the road All the bull**** Can't be ignored It's hard to place In my face No emotion All the problems Make me wanna go Like a bad girl Straight to video Little darling Welcome to the show You're a failure Played in stereo Hiedi ho Here we go No solution Strong undertow Quite unfair Quite a pair No box office All the problems Make me wanna go Like a bad girl Straight to video Little darling Welcome to the show You're a failure Played in stereo I never noticed No, never noticed You're so amazing So oh amazing I never noticed No, never noticed You're so amazing So oh amazing All aboard Hit the road All aboard Here we go All the problems Make me wanna go Like a bad girl Straight to video Little darling Welcome to the show You're a failure Played in stereo I never noticed No, never noticed You're so amazing So oh amazing I never said it No, never said You're suffocating Suffocating I never noticed No, never noticed You're beauty's fading It's fa fa Fading. vIDEo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM6elRs7F5k |
Daniel Johnston - Hate Song
You won't even know who you are or what you're doing Just you and your shadow on the wall You won't even get nothin' for Christmas No one will take you to the mall You'll be all alone You'll be waiting by the phone Waiting for my call You'll sit nervously waiting for it to ring You'll be waiting by the phone Hoping it will ring But it won't ring 'Cause i won't call You'll bite into your fingernails and spit them on the floor 'Til you won't have no fingernails no more You'll think about the good times that we used to have While staring at the cobwebs on your door And you'll be all alone The clock will tick and it'll make you sick As every moment of your life passes by You'll contemplate suicide with a knife one night And it won't be nice You'll be all alone Yes, no one will be there to stop you No one to clear your head No one to talk you out of it No one to hear the last words that you said No one will shed a tear No one will be there to find you dead 'Cause you'll be all alone |
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